Wedding Etiquette

DIRECTORY  -  STATIONERY  -  VENUES  -  TRANSPORT  -  GIFTS  -  GOWNS  -  FLOWERS

Wedding Etiquette FAQ

Here are some things to take note of when thinking of wedding etiquette: -

Wedding Etiquette and the Engagement Party
An engagement party may be hosted by the couple or either set of parents. It can be cocktails and canapés at your home. You could include family and friends. Dinner at a restaurant with just family is another option. In any case don’t expect a gift at this party.

Wedding Etiquette and an Adults Only Reception
Some say it’s o.k. to say “adults only reception” in the invitations. In my opinion I would relax about having children at the wedding. Of course if children are part of the wedding party they definitely will be there, but don’t get bent out of shape if others come along with their parents. More than likely people won’t bring them unless they are particularly close to you (they enjoy an evening out). Never include the words “no kids” on the invitation.

Wedding Etiquette and Attendants
Think a long time about who your attendants will be. It wouldn’t be very good wedding etiquette to “uninvite” someone after you’ve already asked them to be a bridesmaid, for instance. By the way, bridesmaids and ushers don’t have to be an even number. One usher may escort two bridesmaids if necessary.

Wedding Etiquette and Second Marriages
If this is your second marriage and you have children, by all means include them in the wedding. One way is to let them give you away. It will make it a lot easier for them knowing you want them to be a part of it.

Wedding Etiquette The White Wedding Dress
Wedding etiquette has changed. If it’s your second time around it’s all right to wear white.  Wedding Etiquette and the coloured Wedding Dress.  If it’s your first time around it’s o.k. to wear a color.

Wedding Etiquette and the cost of the wedding
If money is an object, you and your fiancé should invite only the people that mean the most to you. Sometimes the guest list is very lopsided. This should be discussed and all parties should have a meeting of the minds.

Wedding Etiquette and the Grooms Attire
The groom’s mother should talk to the bride’s mother about what she should wear. It’s only good wedding etiquette.

Wedding Etiquette and the seating of Guests at the reception
Everyone should feel comfortable at the reception. Use place cards at the tables so people will be with others that they are compatible with. Have a seating chart where they enter so that they don’t have to search for their table.
Where there are more than two sets of parents (stepparents) it can sometimes be unpleasant. Come to an agreement beforehand about seating, the receiving line and such.

Wedding Etiquette and Introducing Guests
Speaking of receiving lines, it is not necessary at a small and informal wedding. You can just mingle and introduce people.

Wedding Etiquette Money Instead of Gifts
It may not be good wedding etiquette to ask for money as a wedding gift but today it is very acceptable especially with the use of a wishing well poem.

Wedding Etiquette and Thank you Cards
Your thank-you notes should be sent out within two to four weeks after the wedding. Don’t forget to mention the specific gift and how you plan to use it. 

Wedding Etiquette Do's & Don'ts

Be courteous of guests waiting during photos

o        Guests really hate to hang outside and wait for the couple to come out, so they can toss the fertility blessings on you both (bubbles, birdseed, etc). It also loses the whole feel of the event, when they have to wait then wait and wait again.

o        When walking down the aisle, make it smooth, stopping for a photo really unnerves everyone. Talk to your photographer in advance about these kind of shots and or find one who can work with spontaneous motions.

Alcohol and Wedding Etiquette

o        Guests paying: this is an insult to your guests to pay, know your guests and how they will feel. If they know how things are for your financially and perhaps the bride and groom or paying for the event that might be another story, but for the most part people get annoyed when they have to pay for the alcohol.

o        Speeches: make sure speeches are given early, so you don't have any intoxicated surprises.

o        Home Safely: Think about your guests (and others on the road) if you will be serving alcohol make sure all guests have a designated driver or you are making arrangements for their safe trip home, or have rooms available (if at a hotel or near a hotel).

Dance Choices and Wedding Etiquette

o        OK really a very small percentage of the human race enjoys the Chicken Dance, Macarena, and Electric Slide. Know your guests, and if you know this will be uncomfortable make sure your DJ does not include them. They are embarrassing, and really are not amusing.

Partners of the Bridal Party and Wedding Etiquette

o        If your have a bridal party member who has a guest with them, you might want to consider having your bridal party sitting with other guests including their spouse or significant other then stranding this person with people they may or may not know.

Seating and Wedding Etiquette

o        Perhaps it is a wine and cheese event, or Hors D'oeuvres event, make sure everyone has a seat. There are some areas that have these no chairs events, and it makes many people uncomfortable.

o        If you are doing something unusual make sure there is someone there to direct things. If you have food rooms, certain rooms with specific courses etc in each, make sure there are people there to help the guests. Nothing is worse then a guest feeling alienated because they have no idea what is going on, where to go, and what to do.

Children and Wedding Etiquette

o        Don't Ban the Kids! One of the most fun portions of a wedding is including children. If you have children close to you both, then they should be part of this important event, include them, invite them! Children can also add levity to and otherwise tense occasion.  

Time and Wedding Etiquette

o        Keep in mind many people have to work on Monday, and also think about anyone who has had to travel to arrive at your wedding. A wedding that begins at 5:pm reception at 630 pm dinner might be served about 7:30 or 8:pm by the time that is over might be 9:30 pm and then there is cutting the cake, dancing and mingling.. your guests might not be able to get home till midnight or later. They have arrived to be there to be part of your important day, simply leaving early is not an typically an option (remember they want to be there and enjoy the event).